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Jackey Backman is an internationally recognized speaker, trainer and personal development expert. Her heartfelt, fun and "tell it like it is" approach to life make her as lovable as she is entertaining. Enjoy the blog!

Archive for the 'Success Intensive- Questions and Answers' Category

7. It is only what we resist that causes us pain?

Apr. 8th 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions.

Here are the answers…

Question:  If it is only what we resist that causes us pain, does this  mean that if we have pain we are resisting something?

Answer:  Yes

Question:  If yes, what do I do to find out what that something is so that I can release it.

Answer:  Which pain are you referring to that you aren’t releasing?  Is it the headache, or the bachache, maybe the tooth that’s sore, or even your heart that throbs in anguish?  

But before you start thinking about that consider this.

Today I was lighting a small piece of charcoal on the propane stove.  the coal became red hot, so I used metal tongs to pick it up.  I placed the coal in the clay pot I use to burn insense, then with the tongs  picked Iup a piece of insense to place on the coal.  The insense piece was large and I wanted to break it into smaller pieces, so I chose to grab the tongs with my thumb and forefinger and squeeze really hard.  I can’t describe the pain nor can I explain how it escaped my mind that doing that would be a bad idea.

“Hmm” I thought, “I can’t believe it, what did I do? that’s gonna hurt.”

I looked my fingers checking for damage.  My forefinger survived without a mark, my thumb had already turned white I think that means the flesh is dead…or really burned.  It began to throb/burn…whatever words we use to describe burn pain…bottom line it hurt. 

“I can’t believe I did this.”

The pain began to intensified – approximately 15 seconds had now passed since I did it.

“If it’s hurting this much now I can only imagine how much it’s going to hurt in a few minutes, this thing is going to throb all night, what was I thinking?Now I don’t need this ”

Somewhere around the 20 second mark, I remembered your very question and about the power of resistance and how it causes pain. 

I had first studied this concept more than 7 years ago.  I had experiemented and tested it countless times.  I tested the concept with when I experienced physical pain as well as  emotional pain.  

It was fail proof, if I resisted what was happening or happened I experienced pain, if I accepted what was happening or happened the pain subsided.

It takes mental discipline and it does take some practice but if you consider that most people will spend more time learning how to use their remote control and how to manage their minds, it’s really not that big of a commitment to learn how to gain some mental discipline.

Being able to even recognize  that we’re actually even thinking, that is having thoughts, takes some practice, then in the heat of the moment to pinpoint the thoughts of resistance as they come up takes even more practice, but it can be done,  if I can do it you can do it too!

 And I did it again tonight with my big fat blistered thumb.  As I type I feel as though I’ve got a pad on my thumb but I don’t it’s just the swelling of the blister.  The skin is all hard and white, it’s neat because it doesn’t hurt a single bit, and somebody at some point told me that this sort of thing should be hurting for days!

After those initial 15 seconds (by the way can you identify the thoughts I was having that were actually resisting the very fact that I had burned myself?  If not have scroll back up and have a peak each one of those comments are resistance.)

I finally said something resourceful and asked myself “what will help this burn?” I really didn’t know, but running it under cold water seemed like a good idea…so that’s  what I did.

It felt cool.  Then I got a hold of my thoughts.  “Ok you burned yourself, it’s done.” Interestingly I didn’t feel the pain right away it was only after I was aboslutely sure that I burned myself that it started to hurt.  

I just repeated a few times “ok this is a burn and it will hurt, it’s hurting and it’s going to hurt as long as it’s going to hurt and what else can I do…some ointment, more cool water”  And now as I said I’m typing this message with no pain just a big fat blistered thumb.  Truly I’m poking  it and everything!

So why the story you may ask?  Well I’m hoping that you will recognize the ever so subtle thoughts of resistance that I had.  You see resistance is not always an outward cry, a proclamation “I will not go, I will not do this”  It is in the subtlies that power lies.  It is the subtle resistances, the beliefs in and out of our consciousness, surrounding us in the words and beliefs of others many of which we may have become blind and deaf to that are the resistance we need to start hearing again.

Resistance is really just every single time we do not accept what is. From the weather, to the guy cutting us off, or the love of our life deciding to move on. It’s all the same energy, only our ego decides if its big or small, energy wise it’s all the same size and the size is “resisitance”.

Everytime we say “I can’t believe this, or no way, or I don’t like this, how could he do this, what was I thinking.  Even when they are tiny little comments about something trivial, it is still resistance.”  

On a day to day basis most of us generate more pain that we can even fathom simply through the act of not accepting what is.  “It’s not raining!, I’m late again, It’s not time to wake up already” 

Mastering what is – “Acceptance” is another Principle of Personal Power…those of you joining us in for 10,11 & 12 in Gozo…there’s a heads up for you.

So how do you find out what that something is so you can release it?  Just by spending energy on focussing on find out what you don’t know will attract more of what you don’t know because it is the language of emotions the the powers that be communicate in.

Remember life is really easy,  if you want to stop feeling pain and resistance causing pain, then don’t be looking for what causes pain invest your energy in doing what you want verses what you don’t want.  In other words just focus on acceptance. when something happens you don’t like, oh well you don’t like it too bad,there it is all the same.  If you want to feel better the faster you accept it the faster you can move forward.  

Acceptance, Acceptance Acceptance

For those of you that may be interested in learning more about the Success Intensive
Events and are  even considering taking what could be one of the best vacations of your
life, you may just want to check out glorious Malta, it’s located in the heart of the
Mediterranean Sea and is truly a splendour to explore, get more information by visiting

http://www.successintensivetraining.com

6. What do you do when you feel angry with yourself for not doing things like…

Apr. 1st 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions…

here are the answers

Question:

6. What do you do when you feel angry with yourself for not doing good things like:

a) Not making decisions
b) Getting angry with others
c) Sorry too much

Read the rest of this entry »

5. How do you know when you’re giving a 100%?

Mar. 25th 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions…

Question:

5. How do you know when you’re giving a 100%?

Answer:

Just ask yourself, you’ll know if you try to lie :)

With the give a 100% – let me take a moment to touch on this.  During the Success
Intensive, I talk about giving 100% to whatever you decide it is you want.  When
we do our best there is no room for regret. 

Doing our best or giving 100% in no way means being flawless or perfect, as
a matter of fact it’s almost the opposite.  Accepting that sometimes respecting
ourselves and others means having to say no to another.  Accepting that maybe
I’m just not as skilled as someone else, is bold and quite possibly your best at that
particular moment.  Awareness and Acceptance of this is where your power will
come from, as it is through awareness and then acceptance that we are able to
take action in the right direction.

During the Success Intensive Event I set the challenge to participants to give 100%
to the workshop as I want people to bring to the forefront of their consciousness
when they aren’t.  As a matter of fact it is my intention that they become acutely
aware of just how often they don’t give 100% to what they say they want.  The
little things become obvious to them, the person for example that says they
want to meet more friends, yet refuses to sit with anyone new.  The person that
wants to be heard and respected yet refuses to share their perspective and just
keeps taking from the group during exercises. These are just two very small
examples of the awareness’s that come about with this tiny little challenge.  

On the other hand I also want participants to become acutely aware of just how much
they are willing to give to what they want, and they get plenty of practice getting
comfortable with giving 100%. 

In giving 100% doing our best we will not leave room from regret. 

In addition, how much people are able to give at the beginning of the workshop
will change as the event progresses.  Where ever they are when they arrive as
long as they are doing their best (100%) they will feel good about themselves and
 then when people feel good about themselves they are willing to take another
step forward, and then it gets even better. 

By challenging yourself to give 100% to your day keeps in the forefront of your awareness potentially
unresourceful patterns and habits. 

Have you honoured your choices today?

For those of you that may be interested in learning more about the Success Intensive
Events and are  even considering taking what could be one of the best vacations of your
life, you may just want to check out glorious Malta, it’s located in the heart of the
Mediterranean Sea and is truly a splendour to explore, get more information by visiting

http://www.successintensivetraining.com

jackey 

4. What do you need to do – focus on how you can reach your goal or detach from the outcome?

Mar. 17th 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions…
 

Question:

4. What do you need to do – focus on how you can reach your goal or detach from the outcome?

Answer:

Well you do both.  First you have to have a clearly stated goal.  We review this
process at the Success Intensive Event. (This year I will be adding some elements
in this area) Then you have to have an action plan that will be taking you towards
your goal.  You will also access yourself and your results while on the way to your
goal…again all steps we discuss in detail at the event.
 
All the while you’ve got to detach from the outcome.  What I mean by that is very
simple actually; resist the temptation of limiting yourself by holding on to exactly
how this goal will materialize. 

For example you love your job and where you are working, but you want to
make more money and you wanted a promotion, a higher position.  Do all the
goal work and then be open to the possibility that the competitor may make you
a very lucrative offer that meets all your criteria.

Know what you want and let God take care of the details!

For those of you that may be interested in learning more about the Success Intensive
Events and are  even considering taking what could be one of the best vacations of your
life, you may just want to check out glorious Malta, it’s located in the heart of the
Mediterranean Sea and is truly a splendour to explore, get more information by visiting

http://www.success-intensive.com

3. If you’ve made a decision and someone is able to talk you out of it or change your decision, did you truly make that decision in the first place?

Mar. 9th 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions.

 Here are the answers….

Question:

3. If you’ve made a decision and someone is able to talk you out of it or change your decision, did you truly make that decision in the first place?

Answer:

If you made a decision and then didn’t take action on it, you still made a decision,
 and then made a second decision not to take action on it.  If you allowed
someone to talk you out of your original decision then that’s a third decision you
made.

Please be careful not to confuse decisions with actions.  Taking action is a whole
other ball game.  Many people believe that all they have to do is wish for
something, or intend for it to be and not take any action towards it.
 
For example some people say “I want to remain healthy and strong my whole
life” So one could say they took a decision to be healthy and strong.  Yet they
party every night, smoke cigarettes and drink way too much alcohol.  Their
actions clearly define their true decision.

Another example: Someone says “I want to live an abundant and financially
secure life” Again they have made a decision yes?  Yet they do the same thing
they’ve always done. They spend the same amount of time doing the same
work. Never taking any chances and waiting for something… perhaps for
opportunities to find them. Meanwhile we all know that the opportunities are
busy finding the people that are actually out there acting on their desire to live an
abundant and financially secure life.

So saying you’re going to do something is in theory making a decision, but taking action
on that decision is when it is truly made.

For those of you that may be interested in learning more about the Success Intensive
Events and are  even considering taking what could be one of the best vacations of your
life, you may just want to check out glorious Malta, it’s located in the heart of the
Mediterranean Sea and is truly a splendour to explore, get more information by visiting

http://www.success-intensive.com

2. What was the point of the Hologram metaphor?

Feb. 4th 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions…

Here are the answers…

Question:

2. What was the point of the Hologram metaphor?

Answer:

I use the hologram as a metaphor in an attempt to help people understand that
in attracting to us what we want it is necessary that we are congruent
throughout. As we uncover throughout the Success Intensive, that your pursuit
of happiness and success however that may look is not just a matter of focussing
on what you want, one single minded thought/feeling amongst thousands
throughout each day simply will not suffice.  Your wants/desires must come from
all of you even the parts that you have suppressed or that may even be unconscious.
 
For example that anger you felt because somebody screwed you over 15 years ago,
 may have been the seed to a belief (possibly subconscious- one that is not in
the forefront of your mind) that “you’ve got to watch your back in this world
because there’s always someone there to screw you over”

If this belief were true for you on any level (aware or not) you would in fact be
attracting more of that, as is every other belief you hold.

(During the event I facilitate a systematic process where you are releasing
unresourceful or incongruent beliefs that are in the way of attracting the success
you want)

Sandra Ann Taylor in her book Secrets of success explains it brilliantly.  Here’s
what she had to say:

From quantum physics to biomechanics,, the hologram has been used as a model
for such complex things as the nature of the Universe and the workings of the
brain.
 
  If you were to cut the holographic negative into pieces, an entire three
-dimensional image would be revealed by directing a laser through any one of
those fragments.  No matter what scrap you chose, the entire imagine would be
 revealed over and over again.  No matter how small the piece – or its place on the
film – the hologram would reveal the entire picture: front, back and sides.

 This irreducible, three-dimensional element is why the hologram is used
to represent the many nuances of consciousness, and why it’s an apt representation
of how your own individual consciousness works in the world.  You’re like that
wavy, indefinable picture on the film because your full consciousness isn’t really
visible on the surface.  It’s only when you shine a light on your own true nature
that you see the real and full picture of your consciousness creation.  It’s not just
your individual desires or intentions that get projected out into the world; it’s the
many dimensions of your personal consciousness that will create your destiny.

This is the undeniable truth of your consciousness-created reality.  All of you –
everything you’re conscious of gets projected into the cosmic formation of your
future.  And what becomes manifest reflects the innermost recesses of your
personal worldview.

I trust that takes care of that :)

For those of you that may be interested in learning more about the Success Intensive
Events and are  even considering taking what could be one of the best vacations of your
life, you may just want to check out glorious Malta, it’s located in the heart of the
Mediterranean Sea and is truly a splendour to explore, get more information by visiting

http://www.success-intensive.com

1. Where can I learn about Alpha, Beta, Theta and Delta states of consciousness?

Jan. 27th 2009

Last year at Success Intensive Malta, we did an open session and took questions…
random questions from the group.   It was great!  We didn’t get to all the
questions, just because there were so many, but I did save them.  I will be posting a new
question and answer each week until they’re all done.
 
Something  to keep in mind,  within the context of some of the questions there are some
references  to teaching points , so for those of you who haven’t yet attended a Success
Intensive  there may be some confusion…no worries, just blog back and ask for
clarification  – Easy!

For those of you that may be interested in learning more about the Success Intensive
Events and are  even considering taking what could be one of the best vacations of your
life, you may just want to check out glorious Malta, it’s located in the heart of the
Mediterranean Sea and is truly a splendour to explore, get more information by visiting

http://www.success-intensive.com

First Question…

Where can I learn about Alpha, Beta, Theta and Delta states of consciousness? 

Answer…

Anna Wise wrote a great book called Awakening the Mind…I suspect it will provide you what you’re looking for. Follow the link below for more info.

Awakening the Mind PA: A Guide to Harnessing the Power of Your Brainwaves

 

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